Obviously the big brains at Google were reading M&U yesterday. This morning, they make official the worst kept secret in Mountain View: Google is getting into the phone biz. Only one day after I wax ecstatic over freeing myself from cell phone enslavement – a result of my old carrier, Sprint, having no game in Japan – I read this at Wired:

Contrary to reports that surfaced during months of breathless speculation, Google isn’t making cell phones, nor does it plan to put its name on the devices equipped with its software. Instead, it will work with four manufacturers and 29 other companies that have formed the Open Handset Alliance to help launch Google’s mobile software, expected to be available in the second half of next year.”

Nor am I safe on the other side of the world, as The New York Times notes:

Mobile phones based on Google’s software will be manufactured by a variety of handset companies, including HTC, LG, Motorola and Samsung and be available in the United States through T-Mobile and Sprint. The phones will also be available through the world’s largest mobile operator, China Mobile, with 332 million subscribers in China, and the leading carriers in Japan.”

Google already controls a creepy amount of my personal and professional life. Calendar, Gmail, my blog reader, online documents, my entire library of personal photos and videos, a long history with maps & Google Earth … to say nothing of the terabytes worth of my web searches they’ve doubtless got archived away in a cabinet somewhere. Surely it’s only a matter of time before I’m sucked into its latest scheme to completely take over my life. When Google finally wakes up and becomes the omniscient, all-powerful superbeing it’s destined to be, it’s either going to make me its lapdog or pull me apart limb by limb.