Those readers with CNN and Fox News on their TiVo favorites are undoubtedly aware that last month Japanese Immigration officials began taking the fingerprints of foreigners entering Japan. This caused something of a stink in America, which has been fingerprinting foreign nationals entering the U.S. (legally, anyway) since 2004. How dare the Japanese treat us the way we treat Mexicans!

During my whirlwind tour of Seoul, South Korea, three weeks ago, the new fingerprinting process at Nagoya Airport was still in dry-run phase, as it didn’t start until November 20, so my fingers remain anonymous to prying Japanese government eyes. But I read this morning that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, reeling from the body blow they took three weeks ago in the escalating international fingerprint race, have announced that they’re doing away with the old, outdated two-finger scan. Now, foreign travelers entering the U.S. of A will have to submit to a fingerprinting of all ten digits. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Japan! And they wonder why America is the greatest nation on earth.